The Paradox

Free verse written for a collaboration with artist Anna Cheng for The Artistree Project and presented at Fieldmoot in 2022.

I stand frozen on the lonely, wind-whipped battlements,
far from the cozy hearth in the bright feast hall
where silver pitchers overflow with sweet lyrics
and long tables are laden with platters of hearty prose.

The hall is mine, and so is the feast.

It was I who plated each metaphor with care
and spun similes like sugar.
I carved my soul for an entree
and garnished it with a sprig of dreams.

The hall is mine, but this is no feast.

No laughter echoes off the vaulted stone ceiling.
No hands disturb the silent forks and knives.
The hearthfire crackles merrily
like a jarring splatter of ink on a blank page.

The hall is mine, but there will be no feast.

I know hospitality is cold at arm’s length,
but elbow-to-elbow is a warmth fraught with danger.
A guest might stab me with a fork or steal from me—
whether silver goblets or self-esteem.

The hall is mine, and so is the choice.

I raise the drawbridge and shut the gates.
I lower the portcullis with iron resolve.
I roll up the red carpet
and stuff it in the gatehouse.

The hall is mine, and the battlements, too.

I clutch my precious pages to my chest
as I peer down from the lonely heights.
There’s a stranger at my gate
with a field mouse upon her standard.
Is she friend or foe?

The stranger knocks,
and my fears repel that battering ram:
“Guard the fledgling lines!” they scream.
“Shield the fragile parchment!”

But there’s a whisper—
hopeful, maybe even desperate—
a whisper underneath
that shivers even as it asks, “What if?”

What if strangers bring recipes beyond my imagining
seasoned with memories from far-off lands?

What if elbow-to-elbow in the kitchen
proves more filling than the feast?

What if breaking bread is a part of being made whole?

So I open the gates with trembling hands
and grasp the chain to raise the portcullis, link by link.
I hand you a silver goblet and a sharp-tined fork
and take a steadying breath.

“Come dine with me, dear stranger,
and each shall be
both guest and host at once.”